Is Friendship Between a Man and a Woman Possible?
Yes, I strongly believe so. Friendship between a man and a woman is really possible as long as this friendship relationship is truly sincere and has no ulterior motives.
Why do most of the men say that men and women can't be friends?
Not only men, but also a good part of women hold it, but these are usually sexist people who do not really know the meaning of friendship and who often confuse intentions with the real possibility that a friendship can exist. Between a man and a woman there is the complication of a possible attraction and this complicates things and especially their understanding. Let discuss about it.
First of all, let say that friendship between opposite genders is perfectly possible as long as:
- The man is gay
- The woman is gay
- Neither is attracted to the other, even if they are straight.
The problem is this: when you are attracted to someone, you can't play the friendship card. If you have romantic feels to someone, your friendship intentions will only be an excuse, or an escape if you prefer. Since you aspire to have more than a friendship, by accepting it you are not doing what you really feel you are lying and misrepresenting a friendship whose origin is not based on a disinterested desire to be friends with this person. You are not being sincere, you are faking a friendship while, in reality, you are feeling a sexual attraction.
Ladys and gentlemen, this is not friendship. Do you feel sexual attraction to your buddy of the same sex? If not, you are getting the true meaning of friendship. Friendship is friendship, nothing else, this is another kind of feeling, this is a feeling on its own, it has differents motivations, origin and purposes than attraction and should not be confused. Both are not complementary and they are not compatible. This is exactly what people tend to confuse and for this reason, they tend to believe than friendship between a man and a woman is not possible. But this is because they don't have the right understanding, they forget what friendship really is.
A friendship should never be motivated to any kind of sexual attraction, love, second though or intention. But this does not mean that friendship between a man and a woman is not possible. You can still feel a sincere feeling of friendship towards a person of the opposite gender without this being motivated by any attraction. It has happened to me many times to feel for a woman a feeling of pure friendship without desiring anything else, alas, very often this has not been reciprocated because we live in a world where people always consider things according to their wrong and confused way of thinking. But this does not mean at all that this type of friendship is useless or invalid.
Let make a point to another, essential factor. It's essential to remember that generalizations cannot be applied to all individuals or relationships. Each friendship is unique and can be shaped by the individuals involved.
You must learn to be always able to differentiate between genuine friendships and situations where one person may have ulterior motives or confused intentions. Yes because confused intention are also, perfectly possible, we may begin feeling a pure friendship or believe it and then our feeling changes against our intention. We are not always responsible to such changements, life is complex and any sort of unexpected things may always arise. In general friendship is based on a sincere connection, mutual respect, shared interests, and emotional support. It is a bond that transcends gender and should not be limited by societal expectations or stereotypes.
Therefore, if you begin with this and then your feeling get modified it is important to always be sincere and communicate what you are really feeling. And if this is not reciprocal, you have to be able to deal with your attraction, canalize or transform it in a way that your current friendship gets not affected, if you still are interested to not lose it. It's essential for individuals to navigate their feelings and intentions honestly. If one person is attracted to the other and wants more than friendship, pretending to be just friends can lead to a lack of authenticity and potential heartache.
The most important point to make here is that attraction doesn't necessarily exclude friendship even if an ideal friendship relationship should not include it. Sometimes, it is even possible to acknowledge attraction but still maintain a platonic friendship, as long as both individuals are open and communicative about their feelings and intentions. You must be transparent enough and learn to find balance and understanding the boundaries that work for both parties involved.
Also, it definitively worths to mention that it's always essential to respect the feelings and desires of others. If someone is not interested in developing a romantic relationship and values your friendship, it's essential to accept their choice gracefully, without holding onto false hopes or trying to manipulate the situation.
This is the general recommendation, if you really feel a sincere feeling of friendship towards a person for whom it is also technically possible that you feel attraction and this feeling is returned without any second thoughts, then go for it, it is very sane. If you begin feeling a friendship but this transforms into an attraction, be sincere and if your feeling is not reciprocal try to canalize it in order to keep the original friendship or to deal with it by maintaining a platonic friendship, if the situation allows it. But if you feel any kind of sexual attraction to this person and you can't deal with it, never pretend to be a friend, because you will lie. Tease this person without ceasing and be romantic all the time in a masculine way if you are a man, in a femenine way if you are a woman. But, if you feel attracted and he/she is only able to tell you ”let be good friends”, then run away from him/her and go next.
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