The Three Gold Rules to Date Girls in Real Life
This article doesn't teach you how to approach women or how to seduce them. Instead it will show you three particularly important gold rules about human relationships, especially when seducing women in real life. But aside from that, these rules are also usefur for social interactions in general.
This article is specifically dedicated to approaching women in real life from the male perspective. If you're looking for information on seduction in female style, you'll find it in another page of this blog, about seduction tips for women Furthermore, even if the following rules also apply in general, this article does not cover homosexual interactions, because I'm not an expert in these topics.
Gold Rule Number One: Seize the Occasions When They Arise, Don't Let Escape Them
An important element of this rule is borrowed form the Pick-Up Artists community. I'm not a pick-up artist and I don't belong to that community, but this rule is part of a much more general and deep concept. But first, let define it. Neil Strauss (Sytle), a famous pickup artist, describes it wonderfully. I will textually cite:
A man has three seconds after spotting a woman to speak to her. If he takes any longer, then not only is the girl likely to think he's a creep, who's been staring at her for too long, but he will start overthinking the approach, get nervous, and probably blow it.
At first sight, the three-second rule is about saying something to a woman without hesitating too much before doing it. However, in my opinion, this rule goes far beyond simply speaking to a woman quickly. At its core, it means seizing opportunities as they come, without hesitation. Because if, for inaction, you let an occasion go away, it's highly unlikely that the same occasion will arise again, and even if it does, your emotional state will no longer be the same. You'll have had time to overthink things, creating anxiety and a tendency to overanalyze, which will hurt your chances. But, if you act just right away when you see an opportunity, you won't have time to build up anxiety, and you'll be more natural and spontaneous. But, nothing is better than an example to illustrate the idea. I will tell you an history a friend of mine just told me yesterday.
« A few days ago, I was sitting on a boardwalk, one of those waterfront spots where people hang out and there's free Wi-Fi. Suddenly, a girl came up to me; she was having trouble with an app and asked for help. I told her she needed to update it. I liked this girl, and I saw a definite spark between us - great chemistry - but I didn't seize the opportunity. I could have offered to help her solve the problem, suggesting we meet somewhere more comfortable, like a café. But I let her walk away! »
« The next day I returned to the same spot, having though about that girl quite a bit, when suddenly I saw a girl across the street and thought it was her. I quickly walked in her direction to say a few words I had prepared in my mind when I fantasized about finding her again. But I was nervous, my heart pounded with anxiety. Luckily, when I got closer, I realized it wasn't her. But had it been, I'm sure my approach would have been clumsy and nervous. I would have ended up looking insecure and needy. »
Interesting story right? How many times perhaps, yourself lived situations like that? They are quite common indeed and this one illustrates my point wonderfully. It even inspired this writing (not really, but let think it was a start 😉).
The moral of the story is that my friend did not apply the three-second rule. From the very first moment, he could have thought of something, but he didn't think of anything; he was slow and got his hopes up for a second chance that was not only unlikely but also, he was no longer prepared for it. If he had acted in the moment, he wouldn't have had the time to develop compulsive ideas about the episode and would have acted in a much more spontaneous and confident manner.
Of course, the three-second rule is not absolute and does not apply to all situations. For example, there are circumstances where the context is unclear; perhaps the woman you are interested in is accompanied or it simply isn't the right moment to approach her for various reasons (like something is distracting her or her attention is occupied by something else). This is why the three-minutes exception is also mentioned. The seducer gives himself about three minutes to assess the situation before attempting anything. The three-second rule only applies from the first interaction with the woman, which can be a glance, a word, or anything else. It does not apply beforehand. You can take even an hour before approaching someone as long as there is no interaction between you and your target. Only starting from the very first interaction, the three-seconds rule would begin to apply, it does not make sense if you are not facing any occasion or you never lookt at that girl. And now we are ready to formulate our first gold rule:
The First Gold Rule When Approaching Women
Opportunities should be seized at the exact moment they arise, using the three-second rule as a reminder.
Gold Rule Number Two: The Beauty of a Man is in His Mind
Generally, women don't evaluate men solely on their physical appearance. With this, I don't want to say that looks is not important; looking good, and especially looking well-groomed, can open many doors. However, appearance alone isn't a sustainable asset. A man might easily become obsessed with a woman's physical appearance, but women don't work that way. Physical appearance in a man is like strength. Just as there's always a stronger man, there's always a more handsome man. Therefore, relying solely on being attractive or muscular might attract a woman, but only until someone more attractive or stronger comes along. The emotional component plays a much more significant role in attracting women. Personality matters for both sexes, but if you are a man, it carries significantly more weight when it comes to attracting women. This explains why most dating platforms don't work, and many women lose interest in a man when they meet someone they find more attractive. It also explains why Meetero.com, the platform where I've been invited to write this article, puts so much importance on the quality of profiles.
A woman needs to connect with a man to really feel attracted to him. This involves understanding his character, his way of thinking, his actions, his gestures, his intelligence, and a series of other aspects we all understand and don't need to be enumerated. It's said that men fall in love through their eyes, while women do it through their ears, and this is perfectly true, although it's not limited — as many think — to what a man says to a woman. Personality is expressed through both gestures and words, and these are the most direct ways of communicating a man's self-expression and how he approaches life. Connecting with a man is what attracts a woman; therefore, if you want to seduce a woman, ideally you should do everything possible to allow her to connect with your character and personality, expressing yourself in a way that she finds appealing. That's how it works. So, rather than saying that love enters a woman through her ears, it would be more accurate to say that a man's beauty lies in his mind. And mind doesn't just refer to intelligence and personality; it also includes experience, maturity, and chemistry, — this last point is fundamental, the bedrock of any attraction. How many times have you heard this word mentioned without truly grasping its full meaning?
Therefore, the second gold rule is:
The Second Gold Rule When Approaching Women
Your greatest beauty lies in your mind. Don't rely solely on your physical attractiveness; also focus on chemistry and expressing the best of your personality with the women you're interested in.
Gold Rule Number Three: A woman's « difficulty » does not depend on her physical appearance.
Many people, especially those who don't have high self-esteem, and this turns out to be the case for most (there's always something about ourselves that we don't like), have the mentality that they have to settle for seeking partners whose appearance is similar to or worse than their own (sometimes, we also compare age, not just look). For example, a man who feels unattractive tends to feel more comfortable and secure with women he considers unattractive. He even tends to think that these women are more available and « easy » compared to a magazine super top model. He often feels intimidated, insecure, and awkward with these latter. Some women also experience the same thing, although this happens less. And yet, this thinking is incorrect, and for several reasons:
- Beauty is not absolute; it depends on the observer. Of course, there are cases of people whose beauty or ugliness cannot be denied. For example, I would never say that Marilyn Monroe was ugly; no one can say that, as this woman is historically the iconic symbol of female beauty. However, I've never particularly liked her, personally. The problem isn't that I don't like blondes; I love them. However, that type of woman just isn't for me. It's a totally subjective matter. And this is valid for any person. Anyone of normal appearance, who doesn't belong to any kind of extreme, can be appealing to some people and unappealing to others. This is the difference between beauty and attraction. Beauty is objective; attraction is subjective. Meaning that I can perfectly recognize something as beautiful, even if I personally don't like it.
- Women, no matter how beautiful they are, choose whom they like, not someone who has the same appearance as them. This is not a bank loan, you don't need to have point to get credit, in social and romantic relationships, things don't work like that.
- Beauty is not the only thing that matters, neither in men nor in women. It is perfectly possible to fall in love with someone who we initially do not find attractive or who does not physically match our concept of attractiveness, and this is true for both genders.
- Achieving happiness with someone is the most important thing, and the best way to achieve it is to understand that differences exist and to be able to adapt to them, knowing how to complement each other.
Sure, hot women have more men behind them, and therefore you have more competition, making it harder for one of them to be available for you. But I repeat, if you manage to catch a woman's interest, it doesn't matter if there are a million other men behind her. If she likes you, she will be with you, regardless of whether the rest of the planet wants her. Furthermore, I reiterate, if a woman drives you crazy, it doesn't mean she drives everyone else crazy in the same way; beauty and attractiveness are not absolute values. Therefore, you should always fight for what you like, not for what you consider to be within your reach, because this is a very foolish way of thinking.
But the most important thing is that a woman will be with whoever she likes, regardless of whether that person is more attractive or less attractive than she is. A woman will always be easy or difficult based on her mentality or how much a man attracts her. It is not true that unattractive women or those with other flaws are easier; every person has their pride, and even the least attractive person without suitors can be just as difficult or more difficult than a super attractive person that everyone wants. Furthermore, if this woman belongs to another culture and/or religion, she can be extremely difficult regardless of whether she likes you or not. Therefore, you should not be guided by your physical appearance or the physical appearance of others. You should always pursue what you like, as going after someone you don't like enough is a waste of your time and hers. And requires the same effort than going after someone you like. Remember this; this is the golden rule number 3:
The Third Gold Rule When Approaching Women
The availability of a woman depends on her tastes and mentality, it's not influenced by her physical appearance.
With this, we have reviewed the most important topics of attraction, or rather, the general rules. It is always important to keep these concepts in mind, regardless of the situation in which we want to approach someone.
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